{"id":246,"date":"2015-04-28T14:29:22","date_gmt":"2015-04-28T14:29:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/?page_id=246"},"modified":"2024-02-10T09:14:36","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T09:14:36","slug":"smilehulet","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/?page_id=246","title":{"rendered":"Smilehullet"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\u00a0Fald ikke i det!<\/strong> \u00a0 \"\"<\/a><\/big><\/big><\/big><\/h6>\n
<\/h6>\n
Den som kun tager sp\u00f8g for sp\u00f8g, og alvor kun alvorligt, har forst\u00e5et begge dele lige d\u00e5rligt!<\/h6>\n
<\/h6>\n
\"\"<\/strong><\/big><\/big><\/big><\/h6>\n
<\/h6>\n
\n
Der sidder to musikere p\u00e5 bags\u00e6det i en bil.
\nHvem k\u00f8rer bilen?
\nDet g\u00f8r politibetjenten.<\/h6>\n
\n

\n
\n\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>
\n\"\"
\n\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/strong><\/big><\/big><\/big><\/h6>\n<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

N\u00e5r du spiller p\u00e5 dit instrument<\/big><\/strong>
\nKan kendskab til teksten forbedre fraseringen af en melodi.
\nJa ofte er det tilf\u00e6ldet. Bare ikke i denne version af Rondoen fra Mozarts 4. hornkoncert, som vi tilf\u00e6ldigvis har p\u00e5 repertoiret.
\nKlik hornist, hvis du t\u00f8r h\u00f8re den.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n
\n

Bare en lille dram – og han synes allerede han spillede anderledes bedre.
\nTo drammer – og hele hans gruppe t\u00e6nkte at han spillede anderledes.
\nTre drammer – og hele orkesteret bem\u00e6rkede det, men da var han egentlig ligeglad.<\/small><\/p>\n

\n

Orchestra Personnel Standards<\/strong><\/p>\n

conductor<\/strong>
\nLeaps tall buildings in a single bound.
\nIs more powerful than a locomotive.
\nIs faster than a speeding bullet.
\nWalks on water.
\nGives policy to God.<\/p>\n

concertmaster<\/strong>
\nLeaps short buildings in a single bound.
\nIs more powerful than a switch engine.
\nIs just as fast as a speeding bullet.
\nWalks on water if sea is calm.
\nTalks with God.<\/p>\n

oboist<\/strong>
\nLeaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
\nIs almost as powerful as a switch engine.
\nIs almost as fast as a speeding bullet.
\nWalks on water in an indoor swimming pool.
\nTalks with God if special request is approved.<\/p>\n

trumpet player<\/strong>
\nBarely clears a quonset hut.
\nLoses tug-of-war with locomotive.
\nCan fire a speeding bullet.
\nSwims well.
\nIs occasionally addressed by God.<\/p>\n

bassoonist<\/strong>
\nMakes marks high on wall when trying to clear short buildings.
\nIs run over by locomotive.
\nCan sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury.
\nDog-paddles.
\nTalks to animals.<\/p>\n

second violinist<\/strong>
\nRuns into buildings.
\nRecognizes locomotives two times out of three.
\nIs not issued any ammunition.
\nCan stay afloat with a life jacket.
\nTalks to walls, argues with self.<\/p>\n

manager<\/strong>
\nFalls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings.
\nSays “Look at the choo-choo.”
\nWets self with water pistol.
\nPlays in mud puddles.
\nLoses arguments with self.<\/p>\n

horn player<\/strong>
\nLifts buildings and walks under them.
\nKicks locomotives off the tracks.
\nCatches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them.
\nFreezes water with a single glance.
\nIs God.<\/p>\n

\n
Gyldne regler for sammenspil<\/strong><\/h5>\n

1. Alle burde spille det samme stykke.
\n2. Stop ved hver gentagelse, og diskuter i detaljer hvilken volte der skal spilles.
\n3. Se lettere pikeret p\u00e5 en af dine medspillere, hvis du selv rammer en forkert tone.
\n4. Hold din grebstabel inden for r\u00e6kkevidde. Du kan sagtens indhente de andre.
\n5. Stem dit instrument omhyggeligt f\u00f8r du spiller. P\u00e5 den m\u00e5de kan du med god samvittighed spille falsk en hel aften.
\n6. Tag dig god tid n\u00e5r du skal finde det n\u00e6ste stykke musik.
\n7. Den rigtige node p\u00e5 et forkert tidspunkt er en forkert node, og omvendt.
\n8. Hvis alle undtaget dig har mistet orienteringen, kan du pr\u00f8ve at f\u00f8lge dem der er faret vild.
\n9. Str\u00e6b efter at opn\u00e5 h\u00f8jst muligt NPS (noder pr. sekund). P\u00e5 den m\u00e5de vil du opn\u00e5 beundring hos de inkompetente.
\n10. Musikalske markeringer for styrke, frasering og l\u00f8se fortegn b\u00f8r overses. De er kun skrevet for at udsmykke noden.
\n11. S\u00e6nk hastigheden hvis en passage er lidt vanskelig. Hvis der senere er en let passage, kan du altid s\u00e6tte hastigheden op, og p\u00e5 den m\u00e5de g\u00e5r det op til sidst.
\n12. Hvis du helt og aldeles taber tr\u00e5den, kan du bare stoppe alle og sige: “Vi stemmer ikke”.
\n13. Lykkelige er de, som ikke har absolut geh\u00f8r, – de f\u00e5r ikke s\u00e5 ondt i \u00f8rerne.
\n14. Hvis orkestret g\u00e5r i st\u00e5 p\u00e5 grund af dig, m\u00e5 du i detaljer forklare hvad der skete. Alle vil v\u00e6re begejstrede for at h\u00f8re din mening.
\n15. Der er tale om en \u00e6gte fortolkning, n\u00e5r der ikke findes en eneste af de originale noder.
\n16. N\u00e5r alle de andre er f\u00e6rdige med at spille et stykke, skal du undlade at spille de noder du m\u00e5ske har til overs.
\n17. En forkert node spillet med b\u00e6ven er en forkert node. En forkert node spillet med autoritet er en fortolkning.<\/p>\n

\n

<\/h1>\n

Tegn der viser at du har spillet i orkester for l\u00e6nge<\/strong>
\nN\u00e5r du h\u00f8rer musik starter du straks med at t\u00e6lle.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r alle dine venner er i orkestret.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r du kan lide din uniform.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r folk bliver bekymrede hvis de ser dig uden dit instrument.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r dit instrument har et navn.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r du ser dit orkester mere end din familie.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r du ser frem til en vanskelig passage.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r du synes at \u00f8vetiden skulle vare en halv time mere.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r du kan l\u00e6se fra bladet.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r du kan tr\u00e6kke i uniformen p\u00e5 mindre end fem minutter.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r det at t\u00e6lle takter en din favoritmotion.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r dit alfabet kun g\u00e5r til G.<\/p>\n

N\u00e5r du forst\u00e5r musiker-jokes.<\/p>\n

\n

A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, “Well, how was it?
\nDid his embouchure make him a great kisser?”
\n“Nah,” the first girl replied. “That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all.
\n“The next night she went out with a tuba player, and when she came back her roommate asked, “Well, how was his kissing?””Ugh!” the first girl exclaimed. “Those huge, rubbery, blubbery, slobbering slabs of meat; oh, it was just gross!
\n“The next night she went out with a French horn player, and when she came back her roommate asked, “Well, how was his kissing?””Well,” the first girl replied, “his kissing was just so-so; but I loved<\/em> the way he held me!”<\/p>\n

\n

\u00a0<\/big><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n
\n

Definitions:<\/small><\/strong><\/h2>\n

detach\u00e9: an indication that the trombones are to play with their slides removed.
\nglissando: a technique adopted by string players for difficult runs.
\nsubito piano: indicates an opportunity for some obscure orchestra player to become a soloist.
\nsenza sordino: a term used to remind the player that he forgot to put his mute on a few measures back.
\npreparatory beat: a threat made to singers, i.e., sing, or else…
\ncrescendo: a reminder to the performer that he has been playing too loudly.
\nclef: something to jump from before the viola solo.
\nstring quartet: a good violinist, a bad violinist, an ex-violinist, and someone who hates violinists, all getting together to complain about composers.
\ntransposition: the act of moving the relative pitch of a piece of music that is too low for the basses to a point where it is too high for the sopranos.
\nvibrato: used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.
\nhalf step: the pace used by a cellist when carrying his instrument.
\ncoloratura soprano: a singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it.
\nchromatic scale: an instrument for weighing that indicates half-pounds.
\nbar line: a gathering of people, usually among which may be found a musician or two.
\nrisoluto: indicates to orchestras that they are to stubbornly maintain the correct tempo no matter what the conductor tries to do.<\/p>\n

conductor: a musician who is adept at following many people at the same time.
\nbeat: what music students do to each other with their instruments. The down beat is performed on top of the head, while the up beat is struck under the chin.
\ncadence: when everybody hopes you’re going to stop, but you don’t.
\ndiatonic: low-calorie Schweppes.
\nvirtuoso: a musician with very high morals. (I know one)
\nmusic: a complex organizations of sounds that is set down by the composer, incorrectly interpreted by the conductor, who is ignored by the musicians, the result of which is ignored by the audience.
\noboe: an ill wind that nobody blows good.
\ndiminished fifth: an empty bottle of Jack Daniels.
\nperfect fifth: a full bottle of Jack Daniels.
\nritard: there’s one in every family.
\nrelative major: an uncle in the Marine Corps.
\nrelative minor: a girlfriend.
\nbig band: when the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players.
\npianissimo: “refill this beer bottle”.
\ntreble: women ain’t nothin’ but.
\nbass: the things you run around in softball.
\nconductor: the man who punches your ticket to Birmingham.
\narpeggio: “Ain’t he that storybook kid with the big nose that grows?”
\ntempo: good choice for a used car.
\nA 440: the highway that runs around Nashville.
\ntranspositions: men who wear dresses.
\ncut time: parole or when everyone else is playing twice as fast as you are.
\norder of sharps: what a wimp gets at the bar.
\npassing tone: frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues.
\nmiddle C: the only fruit drink you can afford when food stamps are low.
\nperfect pitch: the smooth coating on a freshly paved road.
\ntuba: a compound word: “Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba Bryll Cream!”
\ncadenza: that ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes.
\nwhole note: what’s due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year.
\nclef: what you try never to fall off of.
\nbass clef: where you wind up if you do fall off.
\nminor third: your approximate age and grade at the completion of formal schooling.
\nmelodic minor: loretta Lynn’s singing dad.
\n12-tone scale: the thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailer truck with.
\nquarter tone: what most standard pickups can haul.
\nsonata: what you get from a bad cold or hay fever.
\nclarinet: name used on your second daughter if you’ve already used Betty Jo.
\ncello: the proper way to answer the phone.
\nbassoon: typical response when asked what you hope to catch.
\nfrench horn: your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m.
\ncymbal: what they use on deer-crossing signs so you know what to sight-in your pistol with.
\nbossa nova: the car your foreman drives.
\ntime signature: what you need from your boss if you forget to clock in.
\nfirst inversion: grandpa’s battle group at Normandy.
\nstaccato: how you did all the ceilings in your mobile home.
\nmajor scale: what you say after chasing wild game up a mountain: “Damn! That was a major scale!”
\nbach chorale: the place behind the barn where you keep the horses.
\naudition: the act of putting oneself under extreme duress to satisfy the sadistic intentions of someone who has already made up his mind.
\naccidentals: wrong notes.
\naugmented fifth: a 36-ounce bottle.
\nbroken consort: when someone in the ensemble has to leave to go to the bathroom.
\ncantus firmus: the part you get when you can play only four notes.
\nchansons de geste: dirty songs.
\nclausula: Mrs. Santa Claus.
\ncrotchet: a tritone with a bent prong.
\nducita: a lot of mallards.
\nestampie: what they put on letters in Quebec.
\nhocket: the thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett.
\ninterval: how long it takes to find the right note. There are three kinds:
\nMajor interval: a long time.
\nMinor interval: a few bars.
\nInverted interval: when you have to go back a bar and try again.
\nintonation: singing through one’s nose. Considered highly desirable in the Middle Ages.
\nisorhythmic motet: when half of the ensemble got a different edition from the other half.
\nmusica ficta: when you lose your place and have to bluff until you find it again.
\nneums: renaissance midgets.
\nneumatic melishma: a bronchial disorder caused by hockets.
\nordo: the hero in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings.
\nsancta: Clausula’s husband.
\nlasso: the 6th and 5th steps of a descending scale.
\ndi lasso: popular with Italian cowboys.
\nquaver: beginning viol class.
\nritornello: a Verdi opera.
\nsupertonic: Schweppes.
\ntutti: a lot of sackbuts.
\nstops: something Bach didn’t have on his organ.
\nagnus dei: a famous female church composer.
\nmetronome: a city-dwelling dwarf.
\nallegro: leg fertilizer.
\nrecitative: a disease that Monteverdi had.
\ntranssectional: an alto who moves to the soprano section.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

<\/h1>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0Fald ikke i det! \u00a0 Den som kun tager sp\u00f8g for sp\u00f8g, og alvor kun alvorligt, har forst\u00e5et begge dele lige d\u00e5rligt! Der sidder to musikere p\u00e5 bags\u00e6det i en […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-full-width.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-246","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P60HG2-3Y","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":75,"url":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/?page_id=75","url_meta":{"origin":246,"position":0},"title":"Unoden","author":"admin","date":"24. april 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Uddeling af \u201cUNODEN\u201d er afl\u00f8st af \u00a0\u201cDen Gyldne Node\u201d - s\u00e5 nedenst\u00e5ende er udelukkende historiske optegnelser. ................................ Hvad er UNODEN? Unoden er et trof\u00e6, som man skal g\u00f8re sig s\u00e6rlig bem\u00e6rket for at modtage, og som efter bestyrelsens votering uddeles en gang om \u00e5ret - gerne til meget farverige personer\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"aalbra-logo-godkendt","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aalbra.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/AALBRA-logo-godkendt-1-300x296.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":218,"url":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/?page_id=218","url_meta":{"origin":246,"position":1},"title":"H\u00f8jdefr\u00e6s","author":"admin","date":"28. april 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Af Poul-Erik Vilsb\u00e6k, solohornist Det Kgl. Kapel H\u00f8jdefr\u00e6s - ideer og \u00f8velser til forbedring af det h\u00f8je register \u00a0 Valdhornet er karakteriseret bl.a. ved sit store toneomfang. 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Tr\u00e6bl\u00e6sergruppen bestod p\u00e5 skift eller samlet af: \u00a02 fl\u00f8jter, 2 oboer, 2 fagotter, og fra ca.1770 ogs\u00e5 af 2 klarinetter.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mogensandresen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/FYLD.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=246"}],"version-history":[{"count":39,"href":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/246\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3323,"href":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/246\/revisions\/3323"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vip.aalbra.dk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}